I Might Be A Fake Cultivator
Chapter 288: Almost A Cripple

Author: Bright Moonlight Frost On The Ground

The last thing An Lin saw was boundless flames and lightning bolts which filled the entire space.

After blocking out part of the shockwave, the golden protective barrier released by the Shield of Promised Victory shattered completely. The remaining power of the shockwave cannoned into An Lin, tearing his body apart and bursting his internal organs.

"Ding Dong! Detected that the Holy Demon's heart has been completely destroyed…

"Mission success. Thunder Essence Cultivation Method will now be upgraded to stage two…"

This was the last thing that An Lin heard.

Then, he slipped into complete darkness.

An eternity seemed to pass by.

Whoosh… Whoosh…

The sounds of crashing waves traveled into An Lin's ears, and he opened his bleary eyes.

There were a few clouds drifting through the blue sky.

An Lin blinked in confusion. Then, he suddenly recalled what had happened before he passed out.

Heh… I managed to kill the Holy Demon!

I achieved this glorious victory because of my impressive strength, my resolute decisions, and my courageous attacks!

M-hm, let me get up first.

An Lin craned his neck and tried to sit up.

His neck moved a little, but his body was completely unresponsive.

Then, he discovered something horrifying.

F*ck! Why can't my hips move? My hands can't move either! My feet can't move either!

No… Apart from the region above my neck, I can't feel any other part of my body!

He suddenly thought of a term—quadriplegia.

An Lin: "…"

"Da Bai… Xiao Chou!" he yelled loudly.

A voice suddenly sounded from nearby.

"Big Brother An, you're finally awake, woof!"

There was a sound of hurried footsteps, and Da Bai's adorable yet mighty face appeared before An Lin.

"W-what's happened to me?" An Lin asked with a distressed expression.

Da Bai stuck his tongue out and said, "Big Brother An, you launched a nuclear bomb and completely incinerated the Holy Demon! It was extremely impressive, woof!"

"No, I'm asking what's happened to me?" Tears glistened in An Lin's eyes. "Can I still be saved?"

He craned his neck and glanced toward his body. He found that his body was already covered in white cloth. There was also a white healing spell formation that was healing him non-stop.

"There's no need to be alarmed… You were in a much more dreadful state right after the explosion. Your entire body was charred black and one of your legs had even gone missing. Third Brother and I were terrified! We both thought that you were done for!"

Da Bai shook his head and sighed. "However, even though you didn't die at the time, you were still in a terrible state. You were just barely clinging on to life. It was all thanks to Xiao Chou's resoluteness that you were saved. He forcibly refined your storage ring and found the pill that could heal even the most grievous injuries—the ninth rank immortal pill, Azure Yang Pill. If he didn't feed you this pill straight away… perhaps you really would have died! Woof!"

An Lin looked at his feet as he listened to the string of events that occurred after he blacked out. It was probably thanks to the effects of the Azure Yang Pill that his feet were now intact.

However, he was still feeling a little anxious. "Then what's up with my current state?"

Da Bai scratched his head. "How would I know… Oh, that's right. Xiao Chou's burying Little Dragon right now. In any case, we fought this battle together. It died very peacefully."

An Lin: "… Why did Little Dragon die?"

Da Bai sighed. "After being punched by the Holy Demon last night, it was pretty much exhaling more breath than it inhaled. Afterward, you suddenly launched your nuclear bomb punch. We didn't have time to relocate it, so it was struck by the shockwave…"

An Lin winced. This is still called dying peacefully?

However, there wasn't much feeling between them anyway.

He had simply wanted to use this dragon to find the Holy Demon. He only forced the slave contract upon it in order to prevent the demonic dragon from turning against them. After hearing of the demonic dragon's grievous death, however, he still felt a slight sense of grief.

Ah… This adventure of slaying the Holy Demon really was full of twists and turns. In order to attain the system cultivation method, I almost paid with my life.

An Lin sighed with emotion as he opened up the system interface and looked at the "Cultivation Methods" section.

The Thunder Essence Cultivation Method there had already risen to the second stage. At the same time, a unique immortal spell had also appeared—Lightning Amplification Technique!

The main effect of this technique was increasing the power and might of lightning element immortal spells.

An Lin pondered for a moment. If he combined this technique with the Lightning Manipulation Technique, perhaps it could bring about magical effects.

Imagine if someone chucked a 100,000V lightning bolt at you, and you easily tossed it back at them with a mere flick of your hands. Not only that, you even increased its voltage up to 150,000V! Just imagine the amount of despair felt by the other person!

I'll throw a Rem 1 at you!

I'll flick my hands and it'll become two Rems 1!

An Lin was especially worked up as he envisioned this. He wanted to try out its effects.

However, he quickly came to his senses. What the f*ck! Right now, he was a cripple who couldn't even move a single finger! Being in such a state, how the hell was he going to use the Lightning Manipulation Technique and Lightning Amplification Technique? It was more realistic for him to roll his eyes and play with the Divine Inspection Technique.

An Lin didn't become discouraged and he looked toward the other sections of the system.

The mission for his "Cultivation Base" section would definitely be refreshed. After all, this was jumping from one major rank to the next major rank! It definitely wouldn't be anything simple.

"Soul Formation Initial Stage—Condition: Obtain Heart of the Divine God, drink the Divine God's Elixir, and eat the Divine Paragon Fruit."

In fact, An Lin had already seen this rank-up condition before when he was still in Bo Lan City.

At that time, he was completely stupefied. He had no idea what Heart of the Divine God, Divine God's Elixir, and Divine Paragon Fruit were.

Right now, he was still clueless.

Divine God isn't the same as True God, right? Otherwise, this requirement is toxic.

*These are probably some really high-end things. *

Da Bai and Xiao Chou were both baffled as well. He pondered over whether he should ask Vice-Principal Yu Hua, Yi Xi, or Chang'e. They were all experienced and knowledgeable and probably knew what these things were.

"Big Brother An, you're finally awake!"

A delighted shout suddenly sounded in the distance.

Soon after, the face of an excited monkey appeared inches away from his face.

The sight of this face stung An Lin's eyes, and he turned his head slightly. "Xiao Chou, when will I heal enough to be able to walk by myself?"

Out of everyone present, Xiao Chou understood his injuries the best. That healing spell formation was also prepared by him.

Xiao Chou stroked his cleft chin and said uncertainly, "I examined your wounds before. Currently, your bones and flesh wounds have pretty much all healed. Your meridians are still reconnecting and your vital energy has completely dried up. I reckon that you'll remain like this for another dozen days or so…"

Upon hearing this, An Lin breathed a sigh of relief. Thank heavens, I'm not actually a quadriplegic. I'm merely going to be crippled for a dozen days…

However, he suddenly realized a problem. If most of my body is crippled, then how am I going to deal with the matter regarding Dragon Princess? School is going to start in around ten days!

An Lin sucked in a sharp breath. "Xiao Chou!" he suddenly shouted. "Are there anymore healing type spirit pills in my storage ring?"

Right now, he couldn't even move his fingers, so naturally, he couldn't use his storage ring either.

Xiao Chou was a bit dazed when he heard this. He didn't know why An Lin was suddenly asking this. He nodded in confusion and said, "There are still a dozen or so healing type spirit pills."

"Feed me all of them!"

"Big Brother An, that won't work! The effect of the immortal pill still hasn't passed. If you take these spirit pills now, not only will they not help, they might even harm your body!" Hearing An Lin's request, Xiao Chou became extremely anxious.

"It's fine, I have the Evergreen Technique. I can perfectly fuse the healing effects of those pills.

"Stop fussing! Hurry up and feed me the pills!"

Xiao Chou was unable to stand up to An Lin's despotic power. Thus, he could only do as An Lin said by taking the spirit pills out from the storage ring.

Then, he saw An Lin swallow these dozen or so pills directly. He didn't hesitate at all and swallowed them all in one go.

This frightened Xiao Chou immensely. If he swallowed pills as An Lin did, he would risk blowing himself up!

A green halo materialized above An Lin's head.

The turbulent energy contained within the dozen or so spirit pills started surging through every inch of his body.

The Evergreen Technique operated at its maximum capacity and rapidly digested the effects of the spirit pills.

There was a determined look on An Lin's face as he lay atop the healing spell formation.

Dragon Court, here I come!


This is an intended pun, where the name Rem has the word lightning contained within it. Rem is a character from Re:Zero.

Again, pun intended. Although it says two Rems, it is most likely referring to Rem and Ram.

I Might Be A Fake Cultivator
Chapter 288: Almost A Cripple