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How many times have I fallen as I escaped from the rogue and ran all over the narrow and dim alleys? My body was covered in mud, I was scratched, and my clothes were in a poor state. It has become a spoiled rag.
It’s as if I’m in the dark. And the town drifts. I was surrounded by the outer walls of a tall building, where the sun never reaches from the cloudy sky.
Dim and filled with a strong odor, it feels like the Imperial City’s pollution is all gathered here. This is the only place to run and escape to. For me, chased by rogues, there is nowhere to go. I can’t ask anyone for help. I can only quiver my knees in a shadowed corner.
――Yes, if that person abandons me, I have no choice but to die.
Thinking that way, tears naturally came out. Even though tears flowed out of the corners of my eyes and down the cheeks, I didn’t let out a single sound. It seems that he was helplessly aware that he had to be lonely after all, because, for all his life, he had been foolish.
When I think about it, I was always distracted by him. Everyone who looked at her face said that she was a child that should never be born.
Why am I like this? How many times did you think so? I was just born with the power of darkness, and why should I be hated by people because of that? I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. I didn’t really want to hurt anyone. Even so, everyone has been looking at me with such an eye from the beginning.
Suddenly, I remember the family I saw earlier. While walking through the Imperial City, everyone looked happy. Father, mother, son.
Why am I so different from them? Why do I not get a family like them? Why didn’t the goddess share her smile with others like me? I am not a selfish person. I just wanted you to share with me the warmth that my father and mother had. Just a little bit, just a little bit.
The boy wanted his father to buy him sweets. The father answered. The mother wanted to say something, but she didn’t. However, the way it was was warm. The way it was was dazzling. I was jealous.
I’ve never asked my father or mother what I wanted to do it. Why was that boy allowed to do that? Despite not knowing the hardships, the pain, the sadness.
My voice revealed my location. Someone came. Are you a stray person who is unfamiliar with the way of the Imperial City or a wanderer? A military police who goes around the city? Or is it a rogue?
Before turning around, it was illuminated by the muffled light, and its appearance became clear.
Yes, it’s a familiar face–
“No way to be in this place? Human weapons. No, criminals.”
“It was exactly as I asked him. No, we are lucky.”
What I heard was a voice that didn’t try to hide the overflowing cruelty. Appearing were the wizards who were hired by a nobleman who didn’t like Rogue. That’s right, that crude-toned man and the one with a strong tone. Both of them have a grim light on their eyes. Glitter and glare.
“What did you come to do?”
“I don’t know…”
Wizards are approaching. There was no more place to run. Shortly after standing up, a man with a strong tone casts magic. Things around me started to fly up because of the wind magic.
I can not stand it and I fall down. And soon after that, the next attacks.
The man who cast the spell was a crude-toned man. Magic spun with violent voices created flames and formed a circle around me.
“Ah, ah… agu…u”
He said he would not kill me, but he burned me, robbed me of my air, and gradually suffered me. The spicy, unbreathable struggle is like a fish lifted from the water, and the roaring sound is similar to the sound of a bird getting its feathers removed. The hot air that jumps into my throat and the heat of the flame that burns my skin.
When I noticed, the flame enclosure that had been distressing myself disappeared, and instead the wizards looked down on me.
Men stepped on my head, arms, backs, and feet. It’s just like treating trash thrown on the street.
As I looked up between the tramplings, the faces of the snarling men were reflected in my eyes. My head was full of hatred.
Then suddenly, the words said by someone came to me. Don’t get caught in bad faith. Don’t let yourself be filled with hatred. If you go there even once, you will no longer be yourself.
“What’s wrong with you? Have you never used magic like this before Ah ”
But in a world like this, you don’t have to keep yourself. That’s right. You can never get what you want when you stick to your ego.
“Why are you looking at us like that! You monster!”
Knocked by a man with a crude tone. My body bounces on the back of the alley floor, hits a wall and stops. I had no pain anymore. I also forgot the spiciness. Only the heat of the flame of hatred that broke my body was all that afflicts my now.
“Oh? What? Motivated? In such a tattered state? Hahahahahahaha!”
“Even when you’re this damaged, you’re going to stand up… It’s okay for a monster like you to crawl and beg.”
The ridicule was the most annoying. I wanted to erase them with whatever force I had left.
……But at the end, I’m sure I’ll be gone. However, in such a painful world, there is nothing wrong with disappearing. You just have to be caught in the darkness. Then everything is over. You can destroy it and lose it, just like the horrifying figure that ran around that night. The aristocrats, the wizards in front of them, the city of the Imperial City, the residents, the happy family. Anything. When it’s gone, I’m sure I won’t be alone.